Im almost 40, She is farther from 40 than I am. Im always the old one in our relationship for at least 6 months out of the year. We married young and six months into our marriage we had our first kid. He’s almost 20, our next is 15 and the youngest is 2. Yeah she’s 2 we started all over again. Over the past 20 years with my wife we have gone through various stages in our relations ship. And Ill be honest most of the time it was not easy. It still isn’t but we are doing it together and have been doing it together even if it meant sticking around when we really didn’t want to.
After 20 years we are still trying to figure each other out. I mean she knows me and I know her but with 3 kids of varying ages you can kind of lose yourself. Even worse lose who we were together. In marriage you can get into a bit of a Im right match or a Ill do what I want match or even worse the they aren’t doing enough match. Neither of these matches ever end well and most of the time they just end up in a fight and broken hearts and or on my end drunken nights on her end endless days of just being angry at me or at life.
We didn’t know what in the hell we were doing, hell we didn’t know who we were. We had both just gotten out of high school. Who in their right mind knows who they are as a person at 18-20 years old? No one right? Think about it. Who you were at 20 was not who you were at lets say 28 or even who you are now at what ever age. Life comes and positions change. Sometimes adding to our own hipocracy. Our religious affiliations, our friends, our political stances our jobs our houses. Life is constantly changing and in all this life you either change or fail miserably.
So we change unwillingly, sometimes to our detriment sometimes to our betterment. We are at a point in our lives now 20 years into our marriage where we want to change for the better. Why you say? Well because we’re tired of being assholes to each other and well this little two year old that we were suprised with really opened up a relationship we thought was done with many many years ago. Her presence in our lives has really forced us to learn each other again and we both were old enough and mature enough to see a little bit further than we had previously been able to.
So with that little intro I wanted to set up a blog where we talked about the two of us dating again. Yep we are dating and its been wonderful. I call her up say hey girl you want to grab a bite to eat with me tonight? Most of the time she says yes. I get home from work. Our 15 year old is so gracious to take care of her little sister so we say our good byes and we go out. While we get ready to head out I ask what she would like and like normal she says she doesn’t care. So I pick a place. (Men pick the place ahead of time actually pick two because she does care but she wants to know you know where you want to go first). We have tried many new local restaurants and thats one of our favorite things to do. I pick something she picks something we share our food and talk about the service, the decor and the quality of food. Along side that we talk about our family our schedules and whats going on in our lives. It has been a great pleasure to get to know her again and get back on the same page.Its kind of crazy but its been twenty years and now we are dating!